butterfly thoughts

butterfly #1

i received a job. thank you god. a few weeks ago i sent out somewhere around 20 different applications to every coffee shop that was hiring. upon sending out my applications, i left the rest up to the big man upstairs. i believe that god has a particular place for me where i can reach out to new friends and engage in the sweetness of relational ministry. this is my hope anyway. caribou called me to set up an interview and 3 days later i was hired. my new work home will be in the beautiful calhoun area and i am excited to get to know the people in this place.

butterfly #2

this morning i went to church at woodland hills, seeing as i failed to make it a few weeks ago because of countless hurdles that hindered my attendance. i'm still in the painful and uncomfortable process of finding a church community to call home. the moment i walked into woodland hills i knew that it was not the place for me. the first thing i noticed when i walked in the shopping center transformed into a church was a rack of literature to purchase and an enormous sized 'hub' where you can be directed to multiple different wings of the church. i'm not looking for a mega-church. as i sat in the back row, intentionally hidden from the hundreds of people that surrounded me; i wondered how long i had to stay. and then i wondered if i had turned from a girl seeking a new church, to a consumer looking for whatever is in it for me. i left after 4 songs.

butterfly #3

in effort to grow more acquainted with minneapolis, i spent the afternoon at a park directly across the street from caribou. it was quite positively the most perfect summer day. for 4 hours i observed the world around me and the people in it; i read some words by andy root and enjoyed a simple picnic lunch. i also took advantage of these sacred hours to be used as my church service, and the sermon was a baseball game. i watched the diverse collection of players with great intrigue. these men were of all different ages, most of them were overweight and uncoordinated. it was such a delight to watch them play because it was blindingly obvious they were out there for the sheer fun of it. as i sat there watching, i began noticing how their game was humorously incongruent to my personality. the often faulty characteristic of my make-up is the fact that i am very much of a rose-colored idealist blended together with whimsical romanticism. my heart gets sad when things do not go as buttery and as deliciously as i hope for them to go. this baseball game was the furthest thing from ideal. but in all of the players insufficiency's there was an abundance of grace. when ground balls required three players to pick up the rolling softball, much to my surprise there was not one degrading slander spouted; rather an outpouring of high-fives and words of encouragement. when 14 pitches were thrown before a batter finally hit one i did not witness outward expressions of frustrations, but i gazed upon the paradox of the horrible players that made up an incredibly remarkable team. what i need to understand is that life is not rose-colored and when things do not play out as romantically as i desire them to i long to see the redemptive qualities alluring my attention.