words from merton

since i am jobless and seemingly homeless i am provided with abundant space to read. this morning i have been stunned, halted in my faulty speed-reading, in order that i may marinate in the wisdom of thomas merton. (side note: merton is incredible. equivalent to lewis and nouwen on my list of heroes). currently i am navigating my way through "thoughts on solitude" and though it proves a challenging read at times, it simultaneously speaks to my soul in profound simplicity.

"laziness and cowardice put our own present comfort before the love of God. they fear the uncertainty of the future because they place no trust in God.... without courage we can never attain to true simplicity. cowardice keeps us "double minded" - hesitating between the world and God. in this hesitation, there is not true faith - faith remains an opinion. we are never certain, because we never quite give in to the authority of an invisible God. this hesitation is the death of hope. we never let go of those visible supports which, we well know, must one day surely fail us. and this hesitation makes true prayer impossible - it asks, it is so uncertain of being heard that in the very act of asking, it surreptitiously seeks by human prudence to construct a make-shift answer. (cf james 1:5-8). what is the use of praying if at the very moment of prayer, we have so little confidence in God that we are busy planning our own kind of answer to our prayer?"