thoughts inspired by donald miller...

"there is a certain freedom in getting our feelings of redemption 

from God and not other people."

                                        ~donald miller, searching for God knows what

in what ways do i seek the validity of my redemption from other people? i wonder about this question and take a hearty glance at the style i live my life.

for the majority of the time, and this i can only say because of what christ has done-not of my own effort, my identity is drawn form the wellspring of life. the source of who i am streams directly from the blood of jesus. however, there are countless trivial pursuits that beg for my attention and steal away my true beloved'ness.

often times i will run in order to puff myself up with value. don't get me wrong, running is in fact a true pleasure, and many times i will run just so i can spend time with jesus. but the hidden truth is that i will go and pound out 8 miles just so i can feel good about myself. 

there was a long period of time when i could not run at all. my body suffered the most severe case of shin splints in the history of runners (or that's what it seemed like to me anyway), and for a total of 10 months this injury stole my joyful ability to run all together. during this awfully frustrating season i continuously heard the voice of christ, calling my heart to rediscover the truth of my identity and the source of my redemption. from the 20-20 perspective of hindsight i can see that this was a journey god had ordained for me, he led me there so that he could strip me of my restless search for value... 

this is just one of the countless ways in which i cling to false redemptions. i am a slow learner i guess, for i still like to tag myself as a runner. and if that identity doesn't work for me then i have writer, artist, teacher, coach, college student, baseball fan, traveler, and ms. independent; which are all tightly crammed into my basket of "back up identities" for easy access.

these fleeting facades continue to fail when i distort them into disguises of self worth rather than the life pleasures god has intended them to be. and when the foundation that defines me as valuable crumbles before me do i then see truth, truth that lifts my chin to the face of christ and dresses me in the robes of his image.