here i am, a lousy three weeks into my fall routine and already i am second guessing my ridiculous schedule. i tend to unconsciously over-busy myself (then again, isn't that the american way?) . 2 college classes? no problem! 3 church services every sunday? why not! leading a small group on tuesdays. love to! monday and friday young life club? ok! wenesday night gathering? absolutely! coaching cross country full time? i can handle it!
like i said, it is unintentional; this over committing myself. it isn't as if i am signing up for activities thinking "hey, it'd be super rad to slowly kill myself by leaving no room to breathe." rather it's more that i want to do everything. discipling, coaching, college, teaching - these are all things i am deeply passionate about and so to add them into my schedule seems to be the logical thing to do. until sunday morning rolls around and the harsh reality that i have nothing to offer is piercing me in the face.
it wasn't until i had a phone conversation with my mentor jolene that the drowning weight of my schedule began to lift. through jolene's wise words of encouragement and extending the soft whispers of God i am now beginning to see the truth in the midst of this crazy fall season. yes, my calendar is filled to the brim, nearly overflowing in fact. but it is just for a season. each of the to-do's that shape my days are radiant opportunities to invite students and adults alike into the unfailing love of jesus. where the fault has occurred these past 3 weeks falls directly on my shoulders. i have been drawing strength not from the cross of life, but from the tattered pockets of my own efforts.
the unfolding of these truths and of the previous 3 weeks only solidifies the the truth that we are created for community. god never intended for us to journey through life alone. we are to lean into one another and to help carry one another's yoke; just as jolene came along side of me to lighten the load of busyness and shine the light of grace, for which to see the path i am walking more clearly.