Dec 11, 2008

beginning song of myself...


sometimes i take an inward glace at myself and focus in on the areas of interest that are "me". i have noticed that i am not just one thing. you know how there are those people who are really good at something? johan santana rules as a lefty pitcher, c.s. lewis revolutionized the world of christian literature - make that literature as a whole, ansel adams defined black and white photography, walt whitman continues to influence people to find their own "song of self"...the list goes on and on. in each of life's passions/interests/professions there are people who are the masters of it. i have decided that i am the jill of all trades; though (sometimes sadly) a master of none.

often times i get insecure about this part of me. shouldn't i have one direct path in life that i follow whole-heartedly? i suppose i do, and that is the path of christ. but i'm not really talking abou that. tomorrow i will be turning 27 years old. for some strange reason i am looking forward to this year, but with it comes a temptation to look back on the years that have preceded it. what have i accomplished? well, i've milked a couple cows, served up a bunch of pizza and beer, snapped a ton of photographs, written some horrible poems with a couple decent ones, i've been in love (i think. it was a young sort of love, but it might have been love. i'm not sure...) coached cross country, lead a handful of different small groups, mentored a few lovely ladies, and i've increased my big foam finger collection from 1 to an impressive 8. if you take an aerial view of my life you would grow dizzy with the web of directions it has taken.

even still i am adding another interest to the pile of tattered accomplishments by pursuing my b.a. in english and theology. i love the world of literature and writing. but if you were to ask me to name some of the greatest poets that ever lived, i would stumble my way around digging for an answer. in my early twenties i studied photography for two years under one of the most incredible teachers around, but if you were to ask me to show you my portfolio, i would extend an empty hand. i ran a marathon two years ago, and i am in training for my second race this june; but if you were to compare me against the girls that i coach you would quickly realize that i am harldy worth a second glance. the point of all of this introspection is not to test my value as a person only to find out that i have failed horribly over the past 27 years. but it is to give myself an opportunity. to begin creating my very own "song of myself".

the fact of the matter is i am not a master of anything. in my little world i hold dozens of different interests and to be honest, i want to do them all. i love to teach, write, read, run, photograph, listen, speak, and i often times jump off the deep end and float back to the starting line with the colorfully decorated parachute of life. this 3 sentenced conclusion is the opportunity i have granted to myself and it has already offered the empowering confidence i need to make my 27th year of living just as gaudy and adventures as the rest of them.

1 comment:

Renee said...

I loved this post. I got a picture while I was reading, it was pretty cool. Ask me sometime and I will share it with you:)